In the pursuit of happiness and authenticity, we often find ourselves at a crossroads, torn between the desire to please others and the need to honor our true selves. This dilemma is not uncommon, especially in a society that often values conformity over individuality. However, as the hosts of the Modern Gays podcast, Daniel and Garet, recently discussed, there is immense value in choosing oneself, even if it means disappointing others.

The Fear of Disappointment

The fear of disappointing others is deeply ingrained in many of us. From a young age, we are taught to prioritize the needs and expectations of others, often at the expense of our own desires and aspirations. This fear can be particularly potent when it comes to coming out and living authentically as a member of the LGBTQ+ community.

Daniel and Garet share their personal experiences of coming out and the fear of disappointing their families and friends. They discuss the balance between pleasing others and prioritizing oneself, and how this balance impacts their sense of control and happiness. The fear of disappointing others can often lead to a life that feels inauthentic and unfulfilled.

Choosing Yourself

Choosing oneself over the fear of disappointing others is a powerful act of self-love and authenticity. It requires courage, self-awareness, and a strong sense of self-worth. When we choose ourselves, we are affirming our right to happiness, joy, and authenticity. We are declaring that our needs, desires, and aspirations are valid and important.

Choosing oneself does not mean disregarding the feelings and needs of others. It means recognizing that we cannot pour from an empty cup. We cannot truly be there for others if we are not first there for ourselves. By prioritizing our own needs, we are better equipped to show up fully and authentically in our relationships with others.

The Power of Saying No

One of the most powerful ways to choose oneself is by learning to say no. Overcommitting and constantly trying to please others can lead to burnout, stress, and a loss of self. Saying no allows us to set boundaries, protect our energy, and make space for what truly matters to us.

Daniel and Garet discuss the importance of setting aside time for oneself. They challenge the notion that we must always be busy or productive, advocating instead for the value of rest and self-care. By setting aside time for ourselves, we can recharge, reflect, and reconnect with our authentic selves.

The Journey Towards Authenticity

Choosing oneself is a journey, not a destination. It requires ongoing self-reflection, self-compassion, and courage. It involves challenging societal expectations, confronting our fears, and embracing our authentic selves.

Daniel and Garet's conversation underscores the importance of this journey. They highlight the transformative power of authenticity and the joy that comes from living a life that is true to who we are. They remind us that while we may disappoint others along the way, the journey towards authenticity is ultimately one of self-discovery, growth, and fulfillment.


In a world that often encourages us to put others before ourselves, choosing oneself can feel like a radical act. Yet, as Daniel and Garet remind us, it is an act of profound self-love and authenticity. By choosing ourselves, we are choosing a life of happiness, joy, and authenticity. We are choosing to honor our true selves, even if it means disappointing others. And in doing so, we are not only transforming our own lives but also inspiring others to do the same.

So, here's to choosing ourselves, to embracing disappointment, and to living authentically. Here's to the journey towards true happiness and joy. And most importantly, here's to the power of being authentically you.

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